Red
Cherry · The alleged leader.
“Friends don't drink friends.”
Played by Nick. Allegedly.
Nobody has funded Red yet. Be the first. Be the story.
01
Who is Red?
Red is the mastermind. Decades of growing brands, a resume nobody has ever asked to see, and one day he looked at all of that experience and decided the move was three guys in slushy costumes in a backyard. He was right. Nobody is more annoyed about that than the people who told him no.
He built this website. He built the AI slop. The videos where the Bros are sort of cartoons, sort of real, sort of a fever dream? Red. Somewhere between a keyboard and a Halloween-store closeout bin he became the internet's leading producer of frozen nonsense, and he has the analytics dashboard to prove it. He will show you the dashboard. You did not ask about the dashboard.
Volume is his love language. He does not start fights. He starts bits, which is worse, because bits have sequels, and sequels have merch. If Red goes quiet, he is either asleep or rendering.
Known for
- Turning a brand strategy career into a slushy costume
- The AI slop videos that made your uncle ask if the Bros are real
- Building the website you are reading this on, then redesigning it eight times
- Saying "we should make that a shirt" about literally everything
- Being recognized at a gas station and immediately pitching the guy
Weaknesses
- A blank domain name
- Karaoke
- Dares
- Anything with "double" in the name
- The phrase "what if we just"
- A 6% conversion rate (he wants 7)